I look upon those with the weight of the World on their shoulders and I do so envy them for the weight of just one of my problems is enough to cripple me, yet they go on carrying that weight.

I wish I was stronger, I wish I was as strong as everyone thinks I am, I know sometimes I seem kinda heartless but that’s only because I have to seem that way to protect myself, I care so much and have so much love running around inside me it’s almost constantly threatening to burn me out.
Yes I get upset easily, yes I take things to heart more often then not, I would say I wish I really didn’t care at times but that is untrue, I’m glad I can experiance emotions as intense and as pure as what I do.
Like my Mum once said when I dislocated my shoulder “You don’t do things by halfs do you?” To which I replied “No if I’m gonna do something I’ll go all the way”.

I just wish I was strong enough to cope with the pain you know? Strong enough to do what I want to do instead of shying away or blocking you out of my life.

One day I will tell you how I feel, just let me get stronger first, so I wont have to rely on these barriers anymore.